Saturday, January 10, 2015

It Is Not Always A Good Thing To Be Right

I really love it when I go into a movie not expecting much and ending up enjoying the film. I have been pleasantly surprised many times in the past. I think it is one reason why I often risk seeing a movie I think is going to be real bad.

In this case I never once was excepting anything good. I was warned by many that it would disappoint. I still hoped that there would be something enjoyable in it.

Wow was I wrong.

The movie in question is 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)'.

It lived up fully to my expectation, in that I was positive before hand that it would truly suck on every level and it did. I seriously cannot think of one good thing to say about the movie. There was 100% nothing about it that I enjoyed.

I never once laughed at any of the humor in it, as it all fell flat and was forced.

Shredder, the big 'bad ass' villain was silly. I could not take him seriously at all. His armor and million knives and well everything about him did not make him menacing in any way. The design did not work. He was an eight year old's doddle of a 'cool' bad guy brought to life.

The turtles were... I guess they were the same turtles, but they seemed simplified in their characters. I really didn't care about them or find myself drawn to them. The turtles have been done a good half dozen times now, and generally you like them and get into their development as characters. This time around there was just something missing in that department,

As if to make a point as to the complete lack of creativity this time around, it also stole its whole opening from the live action movie version from 25 years ago. No attempt at all made to do anything new or creative with the story.

I could go off on how this time they had Splinter learn his ninja skills from a book he found in the sewers. Yeah, he becomes a ninja master all on his own through a self help book that someone threw away.

I had to rewatch the big climatic fight scene several times because I figured I had to have missed something. Yet I am positive that in the end the turtles failed in saving the city. They make a huge deal about how they cannot let the tower fall or a bunch of people will get poisoned. The physics are completely ignored as the tower then starts to fall until magically it is stabilized by the turtles. Then the tower falls, but is caught between buildings so it doesn't really fall I guess. Then the tower breaks apart and the area of the tower that has the poison in it breaks away from where the turtles are, falling to the ground bellow, where it should break and kill all the people if we are to believe what the turtles told us just minutes before.

After that the turtles still cling onto the remains of the tower for some reason as it crashes from building to building. They somehow end up on ground level, in a manner that should have broken every bone in their legs, if not their bodies.

Oh, and their shells are now bullet proof.

I truly found nothing enjoyable in this latest take on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It is one of the worst movies I have seen in some time. regretfully they are already working on a squeal. We are at a time when any piece of crap movie based off a popular 80s property (G.I.Joe, Transformers) is able to make money and pollute our theaters with more of the same crap.

I no longer go to see this movies in the theater. I wait until I can rent them for cheap and then torture myself. I wish the rest of our society would vote with their money as well and send a clear message to Hollywood that we deserve better quality films.

1 comment:

  1. I feel as if you are holding back, Ian- tell us how you really felt about it